Aug 19, 2022Liked by Larissa Marten

(First, there are magicians and if you ever come back to Chicago I would love to take you to the Chicago Magic Lounge.)

I used to always embellish how long I've been working professionally as a lighting designer/technician. Sure I started when I was 18, but I didn't get paid to do it as a professional until I was 20, and even then it wasn't consistent until quite a while after that. I always thought it would give me more authority, a person to trust when he voiced his opinion, someone who mattered. I desire(d) to be seen as important, because a lot of times, I don't feel it.

Even if we counted that 20-year old a professional, there have been large chunks of my life where I haven't done theatre at all due to life kicking my ass, so to say I've been working professionally for 15 years now still feels like an embellishment. However, it's such a nice, round number and invites people to assume I'm an expert while I'm dealing with imposter syndrome.

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